There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
