I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
