now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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