She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
