You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Randomize