Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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