Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Randomize
