dude i'm inner monologue high
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
