break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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