I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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