I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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