she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
