Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
