I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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