I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
