so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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