i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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