the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
