she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
My vagina is very pro this idea
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
