I like to think it a success when the cops are called
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
