What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
the day after is always just damage control
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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