who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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