Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
