Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
