How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
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