so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
