We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
