dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
