I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize