i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Randomize
