Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
