dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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