nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
