Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Randomize