Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
