see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
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