I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
