she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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