Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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