When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
