Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
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