dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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