can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
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