last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize
