I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Randomize
