You're my little dorito
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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