I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize