my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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