He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize