I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
