She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
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the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
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There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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