David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
It was confusing and full of hummus
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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