Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
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you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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