My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize