So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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